Vala Mal Doran (formerly Qe'tesh)

"Hello. You have reached the voicemail of Vala Mal Doran. Please leave a message containing your current location and artifact to be obtained at the sound of the beep."

*pause*

"If this is Daniel Jackson, you should really stop calling me. It's not like I kept the ship, after all, and the frequent telephone calls just make you seem desperate."

*BEEP*

Vala sighed as she stared at the gray cinder block walls of her cell and waited for all of the guards to go to sleep for the night so she could break out of the jail. Yes, she'd gotten arrested, but it wasn't like she'd done it under her own name, plus she'd done it on purpose.

It was nice to know the fake fingerprints and identity she'd bought held up to scrutiny by the police.

Mrs. Daniel Jackson had such a lovely ring to it. His good credit was just a bonus.

Her dress was neatly rehung, and Vala had finished packing, but her flight to Greece didn't leave until the next morning. So, now, she was sprawled on her bed and leafing through a magazine. She also realized she should have grabbed some food from the wedding before Barney got her note. She was starving.

Instead, she settled for a very large glass of Scotch. The good kind.

[ooc: NFB, please.]

In their mailboxes today, every resident of Fandom (including Tino and the zombies, if they were so inclined) received ( Cut for great wedding justice )
one envelope that would have been delivered a few days ago if her fianceé hadn't suddenly been revealed to be a former woman and she hadn't been revealed to be attracted to goatees of extreme evil.

But not goats of extreme evil, because that would be too weird, even for Fandom.

[ooc: Now without the redundancy. Everyone got an invite and is welcome, unless you want yours to be lost in the mail.]

Vala was surfing the internet, looking for proper wording for wedding invitations and finalizing the guest list.

Almost as if nothing had happened.


[ooc: Open to housemates!]

Vala had just made it back from the mainland. Her dress was purchased. All she needed to do was finalize the gift registry with Barney and negotiate the price of her wedding cake, because of course everything related to a wedding would be negotiable.

Or it would be, if she had anything to say about it.

So now she was sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by earmarked catalogs and lists and occasionally sampling little pieces of different wedding cakes from multiple bakeries in lieu of dinner. Now all she needed were other opinions.

[ooc: Open for housemates, of course! Now in the right place. *facepalm*]

Anyone coming into Vala's room (Of course she kept her room! They needed their space, didn't they?) would find her on the bed, covered in post-it notes. The one on her left palm said "grass," the one on her right knee said "grape," and so forth. Every so often, she'd get bored, lick another body part, consider it for a minute, write out a post-it, and stick it to the affected area.

So far she liked her right pigtail best. It tasted like jambalaya.

[ooc: Mostly establishy.]

"This can't be right," Vala said, checking her hand for the fourth time. But no, the address she'd been given was correct and the church still...appeared to be closed. Right. She sighed and spread out the skirt of her dress before sitting down on the steps.

To wait.

Vala stood in front of the gem case and tried to look like she was on a date and not casing the security around the Hope diamond. Since she was actually on a date and only vaguely checking out the security, this was not as difficult as it might have seemed, though in all honesty it probably it looked like a combination of both. "Do you think that a gem can be unlucky, and what do you think it means for the country that the United States has owned it for so long?"

[ooc: For one, for SP, and NFB.]

Vala had been awakened by the sound of cleaning. Once she'd determined that the vacuums and dusting and polishing had nothing to do with her or any of her housemates, she grabbed a magazine and stretched out on the living room sofa, waiting for them to be finished.

"Don't forget the light fixtures, okay?"

This kind of weirdness she liked just fine.

[ooc: Post is open for any of the roomies, obviously.]

Vala had finally made it back from Mexico, and was spending her afternoon both surfing the web for a thank you gift for Evey for taking her class at the last minute on Monday and teaching herself Spanish.

"Hola. Me llamo Vala."

The platinum band and diamond ring set on her left hand sparkled nicely when her hand got caught in a sunbeam, and she realized vaguely that at some point, she should probably figure out what her husband's name was. Not that it mattered, since she'd left him behind in Mexico.

The door was open if anyone needed her.

Vala was there, making notes about her ideas for detention tomorrow.

The occasional evil laughter might not be a great sign for the detainees, but she was in a good mood and the door was open in case anyone needed her.

Except for during the faculty meeting, Vala was in her office, feet propped up on her desk as she surfed eBay and various other mercantilesque websites.

Ooooh, what was this?

The door was wide open.

For lack of anything better to do, Vala had contorted herself into strange positions on the floor, trying to paint her toenails.

She was mostly successful, though she was having difficulty picking a favorite color.

[ooc: Open to all the occupants of the house or anyone who might have a reason to stop by, but primarily for he who is awesome.]

Anyone passing by would probably see Vala taking her new computer for a spin while she was talking on the phone.

"Yes, it was wonderful to see you, too."

"No. No I don't think so."

"It's your fault they didn't value you more highly, not mine. Maybe if you weren't so sanctimonious and preachy all the--"

"I'm just trying to give you constructive criticism on how to improve your multiple personality flaws."

"You'll never be worth an iMac, printer, iPod, and extra memory if you keep saying things like that."

"Oooh, and certainly not if you keep saying things like that. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Oh. Sorry."

"You kissed me with that mouth, too."

A few minutes later, she was staring at the phone. "He hung up. On me."

She was dialing the number again (repeatedly, stupid Caller ID), but she was also available between dials for anyone who might need her.

Vala was lounging in her office, feet on her desk and reading a Tiffany's catalog, but she was available for anyone who wanted to speak with her, or use her office to hide from relatives (for a small fee, of course).

The door was open.

Vala had discovered the police blotter and was busy ensuring that her name and/or description weren't in it.

Not that she'd done anything, of course.

The door was wide open.

[ooc: I will be in and out tomorrow, but I will be going to bed fairly soon.]

Vala hadn't been in for her office hours the day before due to a small incident involving some artifacts, a pawn shop in Virginia, and dueling claims of forgery and highway robbery, but she hadn't seen any notes on the door, gotten any phone messages, or had students lined up outside her door this morning, so she figured she was probably safe.

( Oooh, e-mail. )

Somewhere in Colorado, Vala's version of Daniel was probably headdesking, and the thought filled her with glee. Anyway, the door was open now, and she was in if anyone needed her.

Vala was searching online, trying to figure out a good price to set on some of the artifacts she'd found in a drawer of her office.

eBay was a wonderful thing, and she was fully embracing the theory of caveat emptor.

The door was open.

[ooc: Sorry this wasn't up earlier, but work likes me to work.]

Huh. Who knew she had an office? Not Vala, that was for sure. She'd been walking by the room, though, and it was mostly in one piece (if a bit cluttered and covered in dust). So she'd appropriated it as hers and called it good.

She spent the day tidying and looking for anything valuable that had been left behind by its previous occupant.

"Property of Daniel Jackson? Seriously???"

Her laughter could probably be heard down the hall as she appreciated the irony. And a few artifacts and journals she'd found behind one of the bookcases.

[ooc: Door is open for anyone who needs her!]